Tuesday, December 6, 2016


More questions:

How do I need to block-secure my identity?
Identity shout/Schrei
What are the references of identity?
gender, age, wounds, vulnerability, traces
how does the body react to the touch of a wound?
Do I look that strange here?
Either bags or boobs
Is it really my problem or yours?
Objects of identification

Text that came up through the observation of improvisation
Was geht nicht? das passt nicht, es muss weg

Are you Russian?
Are you praying?
Never mind

Monday, December 5, 2016


Two questions influenced both by this project and by existential issues that dominate my life at the moment.
1. Is there another way to form reality that we have not yet imagined? reading G.A Cohen's : If You're an Egalitarian, How Come You're So Rich? and Why not socialism? a description of the second book helped me with the question : "Cohen writes that the biggest obstacle to socialism isn't, as often argued, intractable human selfishness--it's rather the lack of obvious means to harness the human generosity that is there. Lacking those means, we rely on the market. But there are many ways of confining the sway of the market: there are desirable changes that can move us toward a socialist society in which, to quote Albert Einstein, humanity has "overcome and advanced beyond the predatory stage of human development."

2. How can we heal ourselves from trying to adapt? brought a new question:   
Is there a difference between healing and curing? 
I made an interview to myself and asked this question

- Eleni, is there a difference between healing and curing?
Yes, a big one actually. Healing in my mind has to do with something more open, more integrated. Cure is more linked to a specific disease.
- So, do you think cure and heal can exist without the need of one another?
Well, healing for me always included curing as well.
Cure though can stand on its own, and sometimes the problem is that it does not include healing.

- What would you like to heal Eleni?
Myself. I would like be healed.
And the other. I would like the other to be healed.
And us, I would like us all to be healed...

-From what?
One does not heal herself from something. You are being healed. By touch, by movement, by thought.
Touch is very important. 
I would like us to be healed of the disease of seeing an only solution in the market. And relating our existence to it at all times. I would like to do that by touch. Somehow touch plays an important role in healing.

-Any kind of touch?
Well any kind of touch would be better than no touch at all.
BUT, thoughtful touch, touch with a method could work better.

- So, for you healing has a therapeutic effect?
Yes, healing is therapy to the body, and sometimes to pneuma. I could also use the word spirit , but the word spirituality disgusts me. The Greek word pneuma is more friendly to my aesthetics.

- And cure? can you cure with touch?
Only with touch ? No I don't think so. 

-Does one need to take medication then to be cured?
One needs to do many things to be cured. One of them might include medication.

- And healing? Does one need to take medication to be healed? 
Are you asking me if doctors heal while curing?

-Yes , something like that.
Well, yes, if you for example fall in love with them. If they give you reason to exist, then they can heal.

-Love can heal then?
Fuck no, please stop playing with my aesthetics. You know it yourself that love holds a potential to healing, but asking me this question... the way you put it...  it seems cheesy, poor aesthetically , what am I supposed to say? 

-Let me then rephrase that. Does love play an important role in healing?
Love is an emotion. It is not a medium. I am searching for mediums in practice that heal. Touch is a practice that's why I am talking about it.

-Is love not a practice then?
Sure it can be. Love transformed into a practice holds the potential to heal. The emotion itself, no I don't think so. But then, the question would be : What are the elements that form - transform love into a practice? Touch is definitely one of these elements. 

- I am not sure I understand how you link touching to healing? You mean that just by touching someone else , with your hands then you can heal?
Yes, and no. I am not very sure either. I mean, there are a number of therapies that include touch. But, I don't mean it this way only. I am more interested in exploring it physically. Because of course touch is not something we experience with our hands only. Constantly in everyday life we touch and being touched by surfaces, objects, body parts, dimensions and forms, just to name a few. Just by standing, our feet touch the floor. Or does the floor touch our feet? I think the link is not obvious. The reason I want to explore the relation of this duality is the fact that instinctively, I have the feeling they are linked. 

- So maybe a new question for a next interview would be: How touch is linked to healing?
That's a good start, yes. 

- Thank you.

 Thank me.


On touch and being touched

Die wunden berühren
How my cashmere pullover will react to the floor?
letting go, desire,  satisfaction, gratification


Including, excluding or just reacting
I was polite. You didn't stop.


anywhere but home
anywhere / but / home
where? / but / home
where? / woman / home
woman / but / where?
where / but / woman
anywhere / but / woman
anywhere but woman
anywhere batwoman


the practice of waiting
how can we heal ourselves from trying to adapt?


I was singing a song in the examination.
the examiner got on the table and started dancing.
and when I finished he asked me about my boobs
I was shocked I didn't answer him.
Why didn't I answer him?

Sunday, December 4, 2016

giving and taking_what are willing to give/give up in order to adapt or not adapt?

Is this the real new trial to integrate/ to adapt/ to feel part of others/ feel part of myself_
feeling apart
Our task is to maximum include me as a shap/form/personality to a chair_
Scheitern_ich fühle mich vereint_ich spüre die kühle Nähe_die Steifheit_die Unbeweglichkeit
ich fühle mich hölzern und zugleich weit weg von dem versuch mich wirklich zu inkludieren_